Seriously, though, it's as though the onset of my last month of pregnancy has suddenly caused my body to go, "Oh, yeah, remember all that annoying stuff we did the last couple of pregnancies?" and then kick it up a notch or two just for fun. I'm not just having periodic tightenings of the muscles in my belly (a.k.a. the aforementioned Braxton-Hicks contractions), my stomach has felt like a freshly tightened drum all day, with no signs of relaxing or changing its state. I can just breathe, but not comfortably, and the baby seems to be finding his quarters less spacious these days because he's not just rolling or wriggling around like usual, he's stretching and pushing like Houdini trying to worm his way out of a straitjacket.
Meanwhile my feet are saying, "Ankles? What ankles? Aah, you don't really need those things, do you?" and I'm debating whether I ought to remove my wedding band lest it get hopelessly stuck to my finger in the next week or two.
Somebody remind me why I'm doing this, again? (Just kidding. Really. I think.)