March 18th, 2005

A Pocket Full of Murder

What I Learned at the Mall Today

Last month I lamented that in my home town of 30,000 there is not one store that sells maternity clothing, thereby forcing me to drive 45 minutes to another town (let's call it Bigtown for convenience) if I want to buy anything of that sort.

Well, today I had another depressing run-in with reality. We had taken the kids to Bigtown for a special outing, and on the way back home we stopped at Very Large Mall, where I said to my husband, "Hey, while we're here, I might as well look for some maternity stuff." After all, the nice lady at my local department store had assured me that in Bigtown they would carry maternity clothing, even if they'd stopped carrying it locally.

After an hour or so of walking about, visiting all the department stores and looking at the mall directory, however, three things became clear:

1. There were no less than three large stores devoted exclusively to lingerie, as well as the inevitable lingerie departments in all three department stores;

2. There were also at least two stores devoted to trendy clothing for infants and young children, as well as the department stores which were positively overloaded with baby gear;

3. However, there were no stores which sold maternity or nursing fashions, including any of the department stores.

From which I learned the following interesting lesson:

a) You may have sex, and plenty of it.
b) You may also be in possession of an infant and dress it in adorable clothing.
c) However, you are not allowed to be pregnant.

Not sure how they expect a) and b) to be true without c) coming in there somewhere, but I guess I'm just hopelessly naive when it comes to the workings of the retail industry...