R.J. Anderson (rj_anderson) wrote,
R.J. Anderson

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The Anonymous Cruelty Meme

When I was thirteen, I had two close friends who lived just up the street from me, and the three of us hung around together all the time. Somewhere along the way -- and I don't know who started it or why -- we got into the habit of saying outrageous things to each other, and then adding hastily, "I was only joking."

At first, this was actually true most of the time. But then the remarks started getting more pointed, and more cruel, and more plausible. Soon they amounted to direct personal attacks. But the moment anyone started to get upset, it all ended quickly with "I was only joking."

Basically, in the end, it was nothing more than a cheap excuse to voice our petty resentments about each other. Because we were too immature and too cowardly to do it any other way. And it was horrible to be on the receiving end of one of these remarks, because you were always left wondering whether the person really meant it the way it sounded, or not... in the end it was almost easier to pretend it was a joke, than to accept that people you thought were your friends really thought so little of you.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?
Tags: lj, memes, meta, personal
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