02 April 2009 @ 02:31 pm
Life and New Life  
Taking a walk on the first warm day of spring is like listening to God Himself preach a sermon on the Resurrection.

There's a cemetery near my house, and it's beautiful. Paved avenues winding up and down the hillside, shaded by pines that rise tall as cathedral spires. A mausoleum like a Greek temple. Fields of scrupulously trimmed grass, sprinkled with gravestones of every imaginable size and shape. Flowerbeds freshly turned, just waiting for the annuals that will bring them to kaleidoscopic life.

I took a walk through the cemetery and breathed in the fragrance of rain-washed earth and new grass. I listened to liquid silver birdsong, watched squirrels spiral up trees and down again, and walked carefully between the graves to visit a cluster of just-wakened snowdrops. The flat green surface of the river, sluggish after the long winter, was beginning to eddy into life. And down the long paved sweep of the cemetery hill, four teen boys were lugeing on their skateboards, full of youth and strength and the folly of spring. One of them fell off, swearing amiably, and rubbed his sore bottom as he tramped back up to the top of the hill to try it again.

My father is eighty-four years old, stooped and thin-haired and leaning on a walker. His leg bends backward at the knee and he has to wear a brace to support it; he has a tremor in his hands that the doctor says is just old age and nothing to worry about, but he cannot stop them shaking. He is largely deaf, and his hearing aids can only do so much, so he has cultivated the art of sitting quietly and with grace in a room full of conversation he cannot follow. He preaches with all the thoughtful wisdom of a life genuinely lived for God, and spends most of his days studying the Bible and talking about it with others—from the pulpit, on the telephone, in letters and e-mails and magazine articles.

As often as the weather and his own good health allow, my father walks through the same cemetery where I walked today. He has a plot there, unmarked but reserved for him and my mother whenever either of them should need it, and when he passes he hails it silently, like an old friend. And today, when I went to help him with a computer problem he was having, I found that he'd been writing up the wording he'd like to put on his gravestone.

"I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep [in death], lest you sorrow as others who have no hope," wrote the apostle Paul. He also wrote, "Death has been swallowed up in victory."

My father is in the autumn of his life, and he is not afraid of the winter. He is only waiting for the spring.
 
 
Current Mood: thoughtful
 
 
( 30 comments — Post a new comment )
robinellen[info]robinellen on April 2nd, 2009 06:49 pm (UTC)
Lovely post. My parents are also not afraid -- of course, they're in their sixties, so I'd say they're in the late summers of their lives. But you never know...a good reminder that death is swallowed in victory!
R.J. Anderson: Books - Writing[info]rj_anderson on April 2nd, 2009 07:53 pm (UTC)
Thanks. :)
Newport2Newport[info]newport2newport on April 2nd, 2009 06:58 pm (UTC)
Lovely, lovely post. I so wish I could meet your father--and you!
R.J. Anderson: Autumn - Dream[info]rj_anderson on April 2nd, 2009 07:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Melodye. I'd like that too!
bittervillager[info]bittervillager on April 2nd, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
This is beautiful. Thank you so much.
R.J. Anderson: Bible - Isaiah Redeemed[info]rj_anderson on April 2nd, 2009 07:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading it!
An Incident We'd Rather Not Discuss[info]anywherebeyond on April 2nd, 2009 07:15 pm (UTC)
This is a beautiful post, thank you so much for sharing. I hope one day I can find that kind of peace in the face of my own mortality. Until then, I can keep looking, and keep reading beautiful works like this. Thank you.
R.J. Anderson: Hornblower - Still Searching[info]rj_anderson on April 2nd, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
*hugs you*
Kathryn A: all-things-new[info]kerravonsen on April 2nd, 2009 07:24 pm (UTC)
Amen.
R.J. Anderson: Bible - Jeremiah Hope and Future[info]rj_anderson on April 2nd, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
Ooh, appropriate icon is appropriate! And thank you.
theFish[info]thefish30 on April 2nd, 2009 07:39 pm (UTC)
Rebecca, thank you. You are often lyrical and sometimes very wise, but this is so much of both that I hear the Spirit speaking to me through your words. I will be sharing this with my family.

He is risen indeed!
R.J. Anderson: Rupert - Thoughtful[info]rj_anderson on April 2nd, 2009 07:42 pm (UTC)
That is very sweet and lovely of you to say. I appreciate it.

And yes. That.
Durayan[info]durayan on April 2nd, 2009 09:01 pm (UTC)
That was really very lovely. Thank you so much for sharing it.
R.J. Anderson: Fearfully & Wonderfully Made[info]rj_anderson on April 2nd, 2009 09:12 pm (UTC)
I am glad to have the Pummy seal of approval! :)
kristin[info]kristin_briana on April 2nd, 2009 09:02 pm (UTC)
This is beautiful. Thank you for posting.

O Death, where is your victory? Sin, where is your sting?
R.J. Anderson: Book Book Book[info]rj_anderson on April 2nd, 2009 09:13 pm (UTC)
And now I have that part of Handel's Messiah running through my head... Thank you.
kristin[info]kristin_briana on April 2nd, 2009 09:57 pm (UTC)
:D I was thinking of the song "Arise, My Love" by Newsong. It's amazing, if you've never heard it. Makes me cry every time.
Julia Karr[info]juliakarr on April 2nd, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC)
This made me cry.
R.J. Anderson: Doctor Who - Five - Tegan Comfort[info]rj_anderson on April 3rd, 2009 12:51 am (UTC)
...thank you?

*guiltily hands you handkerchief*
Julia Karr[info]juliakarr on April 3rd, 2009 10:32 am (UTC)
yes - it was a good little cry...the kind that makes your heart smile.
(Anonymous) on April 2nd, 2009 11:28 pm (UTC)
Your Dad
Your Dad has been an example for a generation of young men who want to live for Christ.

Shawn Abigail
Risti: dance[info]risti on April 2nd, 2009 11:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I needed to read that. My Oma is in a similar stage of life - and just as ready for it - but I'm still struggling with not wanting to let her go.
Shoebox: why not dance[info]shoebox2 on April 2nd, 2009 11:43 pm (UTC)
Beautiful, thank you. It's amazing how really simple love is, isn't it? Despite all our efforts to complicate it.

Edited at 2009-04-02 11:44 pm (UTC)
lizzy_lyn: Psyche Opening the Golden Box[info]lizzy_lyn on April 3rd, 2009 12:36 am (UTC)
What great wording he's chosen.
R.J. Anderson: Books - Writing[info]rj_anderson on April 3rd, 2009 12:51 am (UTC)
Oh, sorry, that wasn't the wording he chose. Those were just my observations on it. I can see how it would look like that, though!
lizzy_lyn[info]lizzy_lyn on April 3rd, 2009 01:11 am (UTC)
Oh! Well, that would be good wording. :) I always thought "rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away" would be good.
I'll see your "wait..." and raise you a "bzuh?"[info]scionofgrace on April 3rd, 2009 02:21 am (UTC)
Awesome. Your father has right what so many of the world miss. Thanks for writing this.
Dichroic[info]dichroic on April 3rd, 2009 02:34 am (UTC)
Lovely. It's so nice to see when lives work out properly. When my grandmother died at 84, she also was ready; she was convinced she'd see my grandfather again and I take comfort from that (after all, why *wouldn't* a woman who'd lived over eight decades and been married for over five know more than I do about it all?)

But now my uncle is dying of cancer at 60 and it's so different. He's not particularly scared to die, but is full of wrath because there is still so much more living he wants to do.
lady_schrapnell[info]lady_schrapnell on April 3rd, 2009 03:42 pm (UTC)
That's very lovely. What you said about his sitting quietly and with grace in a room full of conversation he can't follow is especially moving - I've no doubt he absorbs the important bits as well or better than those of us who use just the ears.

On my father's tombstone (erected over 30 years after his death!) is this from Yeats:

Strong sinew and soft flesh
Are foliage round the shaft
Before the arrowsmith
Has stripped it, and I pray
That I, all foliage gone,
May shoot into my joy.
R.J. Anderson: Bible - Isaiah Redeemed[info]rj_anderson on April 4th, 2009 09:36 pm (UTC)
That is very lovely indeed. Thanks for sharing it.